【雅思作文批改】跑题还能拿5分，TA是怎么做到的？

作文题目:

Housing shortages in big   cities can have severe consequences. only government action can solve the   problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

作文内容：

We can hear people complaining   about the price of housing in big cities all over the world. It seems that   real estate markets go mad and consumers have no way in this matter. As   housing is a basic need, governments must get involved to curb the high price   of housing and make sure the markets fair.

It is not difficult to   understand that housing price going up   without any control would cause a property-value bubble. When the bubble   bursts and the prices fall violently, many people fall into the situation of   financial crisis; social crisis is not far from then. Hence, the government   hasve to   control the housing price to prevent such thing from happening.

Also considering   that there are many some   people with low incomes in any city，i. It is   too hard for them to buy expensive real estate when their salaries are not   high. Of course, governments should be responsible for citizens' basic   housing requirements and set reasonable limits on prices.

If governments do not act, the consequences could be severe. If the price continues increasing, the poor are forced to leave   big cities ，and leaving[A1] e the rich live there lonely;[A2]  it can not be imagined. All people deserve affordable   housing.

Housing is a basic human   right, like food and water, but if the government is absent, it will be a   privilege only for the rich. As a result, governments should step in and   place reasonable controls on the real estate market.

【A1】如果不变成非谓语形式，则此句缺主语，改后就变成结果状语

【A2】分号前后大致含义是一致的，此处it can not be imagined可以直接提前合并成一个句子，此处太啰嗦

总体评价：

针对问题最大的一点指出问题：

审题。注意题中的是是否只有政府能解决，而本文说的是政府该参与解决，这完全是两个立意。建议可以捎带其他的解决方案，然后否定他们，自圆其说。

附批改原图：

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